On Sunday, I was listening to the pastor preach about God directing our steps and then I heard the song, "Walk on Water" by Britt Nicole. As I listened to these lyrics, I wondered, "How am I supposed to tell the difference between waiting for the Lord's leading and waiting because I'm afraid to step out?" I mean, in my own life, I have no direction yet from the Lord as to where to go or what to do, but I'm questioning whether it's because He hasn't spoken or it's because I'm afraid to take a step out of my boat where I'm comfortable. Even as I write this, I'm wondering, "What am I so afraid of?" I don't know. All the "what if's" come and skate around in my head.
Especially, what if it's something I kinda want to do just to show everyone that I can do it, that I can "be something". But this would bring glory to myself and not to God, defeating my purpose of living for God's glory, not my own. I think God wants me to learn to be content in ALL things...including "being" me and whatever he leads me to, and remembering that it's not what I do or don't do that gives me value. I thought I'd learned this lesson before, but apparently not entirely.
Today, I'm clinging to Isaiah 48:17 - "This is what the Lords says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'" God is teaching me what is best for me - only He knows what's truly best for me. What I think is best might only be God's good, and I want God's best, nothing else. So I need to learn from Him what's best for ME, not anyone else...ME. I think when I learn that "Father knows best", He will begin to direct my steps in the way I should go and doors will open that I never thought could possibly open, reminding me that with God, all things are possible (Luke 1:37).
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